


Of Temper Tantrums and Bad Words

by klaineanummel



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 14:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4440173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaineanummel/pseuds/klaineanummel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cooper Anderson has a no good very bad day</p><p>Or the one where Cooper has to pick up Blaine from kindergarten with a vandalized car and Blaine won't stop crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Temper Tantrums and Bad Words

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for the very first prompt over at [ todaydreambelievers](http://todaydreambelievers.tumblr.com) on tumblr. The prompt was **(AU or Canon Compliant) Kurt and/or Blaine as young children (preferably under 5). For example, could possibly be a family story or the two of them meeting as young children.** I might write a sequel to this set years later when Kurt and Blaine are dating/married, but I'm not sure yet :) This is also for my klainebingo prompt "mechanic". Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Warning for young children saying the word 'fuck'

Cooper Anderson cannot believe his luck.

First all of his awesome new car plans get totally dashed when his parents tell him that the only condition on having his own car is he has to pick Blaine up from kindergarten every day. Like, seriously, how is he supposed to give Jane Hayward rides home and then make out with her in the back seat if his stupid little brother is also in that backseat?

Secondly, because of this new responsibility, Cooper will literally never be able to hang out with his friends after school. Blaine’s kindergarten gets out exactly fifteen minutes after Cooper’s high school does, and he needs five of those minutes to collect what he needs from his locker and the other ten to make the drive to Blaine’s school. Plus there’s that little thing where he can’t be even a second late to pick Blaine up, ever, because if there isn’t somebody waiting for Blaine the second he exits the school doors he bursts into tears and won’t stop crying for at least an hour.

 Third, Jane Hayward actually _talked to him_ on his way out of their shared Calculus class, and she looked like she wanted to keep talking to him, except he had to book it out of there to make sure his little brother didn’t cry. Girls like Jane don’t like being blown off, and he’s pretty sure that this is going to be the last time she ever talks to him, so that’s great.

Fourth, some asswipe scratched the words _SUCK MY DICK RICHIE RICH_ into the side of his brand new 2016 Mazda while he was in school. He’s had that car for exactly four days and it’s already been vandalized. His parents are going to murder him.

Fifth, because of the stupid vandalism, he _was_ late to pick up Blaine. Five minutes late, to be exact. Which meant that even though the large majority of his class was still milling about around him, Blaine had plopped himself on the front steps of the school and was currently bawling his eyes out. Cooper could hear him halfway across the parking lot.

So, yeah. This really hasn’t been Cooper’s week.

“Coopy!” Blaine shrieks as soon as he sees him, and soon he has a five year old clutching his leg, tears instantly dampening his jeans, “Coopy I thought you were never coming, ever!”

Cooper sighs and leans down, completely aware of all the stares they’re receiving, “Sorry I was late Blainey,” he says, ruffling Blaine’s curls and giving him his widest smile possible, “But I’m here now. See? I came to get you.”

“I thought,” Blaine pauses to let out a loud sob, “I thought,” another sob, “I thought you _forgotted me_.”

“No, no,” Cooper says, pulling Blaine into a hug, “Never, I could never forget you.” He wants to say _I blew off Jane Fucking Hayward for you_ but he doesn’t think Blaine will get the importance of that statement, “Come on, let’s get going. I have to make a stop before we go home.”

“I want mommy,” Blaine screeches, “I want mommy _now_.”

Cooper sighs. He hates his parents.

He picks Blaine up and cradles him close, taking Blaine’s backpack in his free hand and starts to walk him towards his car. There’s a man standing in front of said car, shaking his head. When he hears Cooper and Blaine arriving, signaled of course by Blaine’s wails, he turns to Cooper, eyes narrowed in a dangerous glare.

“Is this your vehicle?”

“Yes,” Cooper says, walking around him towards the back seat, where Blaine’s booster seat is.

“Don’t you think this is a little inappropriate?” he says to the words scratched onto Blaine’s car, voice dripping with disdain, “Seeing as this is a kindergarten and all.”

Cooper really cannot deal with this right now, “Thanks for your opinion, sir. Have a good day.”

The man’s jaw drops, “Excuse me-”

“Home!” Blaine screams over the man, “Home, now Coopy! Now!”

Cooper glares at the man, “I would really like to argue with you right now sir, I really would, but I’m a little busy,” he places Blaine in the booster seat and buckles him in.

“That kind of language, and so blatantly displayed-” Cooper honestly cannot believe this guy is still trying to argue with him.

“Listen mister,” he says, shutting the passenger’s seat and slightly muffling Blaine’s cries, “I don’t know what kind of point you’re trying to prove, but if you honestly think that I scratched ‘suck my dick Richie Rich’ into my brand new car then you’re a fucking moron,” he gives him a forced smile, “Now please get the hell out of my way, or are you so blind that you didn’t notice the crying five year old in my backseat?”

The man’s mouth opens, then closes, then opens again, “How _dare_ you-”

“Okay, good talk,” Cooper says, rapping his knuckles on the roof of his car and getting into the driver’s seat. Blaine’s cries fill his ears once more and he groans.

“Hey, Blainey,” Cooper says, turning to look at Blaine, “Can you stop crying, please?”

“Want mommy,” Blaine shouts and Cooper groans.

“Okay, but we have to go somewhere real fast first, okay?” he says, “Otherwise mommy is going to be real mad at me.” He thinks about it for a second, then says, “If you’re real good maybe I’ll take you to get ice cream after, huh?”

Blaine’s sobs lower to sniffles, “I-Ice cream?”

“Yeah, bud. At the place down the street, with the pink dragon on the front. You can get two whole scoops and everything.”

Blaine’s lower lip trembles and then he’s bursting into tears again, “Mommy says I’m not allowed,” He cries, “Mommy says I’m not allowed and I want mommy!”

Cooper groans and decides that he’s just going to have to deal with a crying child while he runs his errand. God, he’s going to kill whoever did this to his car.

He enters ‘tire shop’ into his GPS and hits the closest one. He’s never heard of it before, which is probably better. At least this way nobody will know who he is.

The place is only five minutes away, and Blaine screams for their mom at the top of his lungs the entire way there. Cooper knows this whole ordeal is going to take at least half an hour, so hopefully Blaine will have burnt himself out by then.

When he pulls into the tire shop he pauses for a minute to text his mom and tell her that he’s taking Blaine out for ice cream. She responds quickly, as she always does, reminding him that Blaine is only allowed one scoop, because two will make his tummy hurt. Cooper sighs and exits the car, leaving the window rolled down a little so that Blaine can get some air. Of course, the crack in the window also allows Blaine’s screams to echo through the entire shop. Within seconds every employee in the place is looking in their direction.

“Hey there,” Cooper says to the nearest one, a man a little taller than him wearing a baseball cap and a scowl, “Uh, I got some scratches on my car. I was hoping I could get them covered up.”

The man glances at the car, “You didn’t kidnap that kid in the back did you?”

Cooper’s stomach drops to his feet. He’d never even considered that. “Shit, no,” he says, shaking his head, “That’s my brother, he does this every time he gets picked up late. My car got vandalized, and it’s brand new, so I don’t want my parents to find out, I swear, I didn’t-”

“Hey, it’s all good kid,” the man says, patting Cooper’s shoulder, “I was just messing with you. I’ve got one about that age. Got a pair of lungs on him too,” he shakes his head, “Show me that scratch.”

Cooper does and the man let’s out a low whistle, “That’s a biggie.”

“Can you cover it?”

“Well, you’re lucky it’s black, cause otherwise we’d have to get the right color shipped in. As it is, I think I can get this done for you in about fifteen minutes, twenty tops. Won’t even cost you that much.”

“Oh thank god,” Cooper let’s out a deep sigh, then groans when he realizes that Blaine has started pounding his little fists on the car window, “I’m just gonna… get him out of there.”

“Good thinking, kid. Gimme your keys, I’ll get you all set up in the back.”

Cooper hands the man his keys, then goes to retrieve his brother, who looks close to a full blown temper tantrum at this point. Blaine hasn’t had one of those since he was three, but Cooper wouldn’t put it past him.

Blaine screams, “Coopy, you need to take me home _now_ ,” as soon as Cooper opens the door, and Cooper sighs.

“Blaine, come on,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling Blaine into his arms. He closes the door and the man gestures to a bench near the front of the shop. Cooper sighs and heads over there, Blaine’s little feet kicking into his ribs as he moves. “You gotta stop this, Blaine. I’m here, I came to get you, and we’re going to go home soon. Please, stop crying.”

“ _No_ ,” Blaine screams, “No, I don’t wanna, I want mommy, I want daddy, I don’t want stupid Coopy.”

“Hey now,” Cooper holds Blaine up by his underarms, holding him far enough away that his little legs can’t reach his sternum anymore, “That is a bad word and we do not use it.”

“So is the word fucking and you said that!”

Cooper’s eyes widen and he glances around the shop to see if anyone heard. “We only use that word when people are being really mean,” he tries to explain. Blaine’s fists ball up again and he starts to beat against Cooper’s hands.

“Coopy is fucking mean then!” he screams, “Coopy is fucking mean.”

“Stop that,” Cooper says, putting his hand over Blaine’s mouth. “That’s a bad word.”

Blaine starts talking against his mouth, obviously complaining, and Cooper groans. Seriously, what has he done to deserve this?

“Okay, Blaine, for real,” he brings Blaine closer, “You need to stop screaming, right now. I know you’re sad that I wasn’t there to get you on time, and I know you’re sad I couldn’t take you straight home, but you seriously need to knock it off. You’re not a baby anymore. Stop acting like one.”

Blaine freezes for several seconds, long enough for Cooper to think it’s finally done and take his hand away. Of course, as soon as his hand is gone, the wailing starts again.

“Coopy called me a baby,” Blaine screams, “He forgotted me and now called me a baby! Coopy is fucking mean!”

The cries continue, and Cooper honestly doesn’t know what to do. He can’t call his parents, they’ll kill him for trying to cover up what happened to his car. Plus they’ll kill him for telling Blaine that saying ‘fuck’ is okay if the person is being mean. God, this sucks, this sucks, this _sucks_.

And then, suddenly, it sucks even more, because it seems as though Blaine’s screams have grown twice as loud in a manner of seconds. He stares down at Blaine, who lets out a gut wrenching sob and then sniffles loudly and stops, looking around the shop. Cooper frowns. Blaine’s mouth is shut tight, lips pursed together and wobbling, but screams can still be heard throughout the store.

“Oh Jesus,” he hears the man from before say, and he looks up to see-

“Oh Jesus,” Cooper repeats, cheeks flooding with color.

Jane Hayward walks into the shop, nose screwed up in a permanent wince, a little boy no older than Blaine curled up in her arms, wailing just as loudly, if not louder than Blaine was.

“I’m so sorry Burt,” she says as the man approaches her, a spray paint hose still in his hands. “He just won’t stop crying, and Liz said she can’t get home until six, no matter what, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“It’s okay,” the man, Burt, says, setting the nozzle on the ground and extending his arms. Jane sighs heavily with relief as she passes the boy off to his father. Immediately the screams stop. Cooper could swear he hears one of the employee’s sighing in relief. “Hey buddy,” Burt says, bouncing the little boy up and down in his arm, “What’s wrong?”

The little boy doesn’t reply, just buries his face in his father’s shoulder and continues to cry softly. Blaine tugs on Cooper’s hair and Cooper looks away from the scene unfolding, raising an eyebrow at his own little bundle of trouble.

“Coopy?” Blaine asks, his eyes bright red from all the crying, “Coopy why is that boy crying?”

Cooper looks over at the man and his son again, then shrugs, “I don’t know Blainey. Probably for the same reason you were crying,” _which was absolutely no reason at all_.

“His brother forgotted to get him?” Blaine blinks up at him, and Cooper resists the urge to groan.

“I didn’t forget – whatever, maybe, I don’t know.”

“Cooper?” Jane says, and Cooper actually groans this time, “What are you doing here?”

“Uh…”

“Car got scratched up,” Burt says, “Those kids at the public school of yours are real nasty.”

Jane’s jaw sets, “It was Karofsky, wasn’t it? That like punk,” she shakes her head.

“Karofsky,” the little boy in Burt’s arms says.

“What’s that buddy?”

“Dave,” the little boy says, his voice louder this time, “Karofsky. He said I can’t play with him cause I’m a girl.”

Jane, if anything, looks angrier, “What exactly is wrong with being a girl?”

“I said!” the boy cries, “I said! I said girls are nice but I’m not a girl, I’m a boy!” he buries his face in his dad’s shoulder again.

Blaine looks at Cooper with a determination he usually only sees when the boy is trying to perfect a dance move. He starts to wriggle out of Cooper’s hold, and Cooper, unsure of what else to do, lets him go.

Going as fast as his little feet can carry him, Blaine runs over to Burt and his son and taps Burt on the knee. The man looks down and smiles at Blaine.

“Hey, buddy,” he says, “You feeling better?”

“Mhmm,” Blaine says, “Can I say something?”

Burt smiles and leans down on one knee, bringing Blaine and the little boy closer to eye level. The boy rubs his tear-swollen eyes, “Hello,” he says, “My name is Kurt.”

Blaine extends his hand, “I am Blaine Anderson,” he says, chest puffing out proudly, “That boy from your school was mean to you,” he says as Kurt shakes his hand, “And my brother says you can say bad words if someone is really mean.”

Cooper slaps a hand over his face, “Blaine, no-”

“Like what bad words?” Kurt asks, and Burt looks up at Cooper, his eyes wide in surprise.

“Like the fuck one,” Blaine says calmly, and Kurt bursts into giggles at the same time that half of the employees of the shop burst into laughter of their own.

“I can say that word cause Dave Karofsky is mean?” he asks, biting down on his lower lip in excitement.

“No, Kurt,” his dad starts, but Blaine is already nodding eagerly.

“Yeah, cause I could say Coopy is fucking mean cause he didn’t take me straight home and he was gonna get me two scoops even though I’m only allowed one, and he called me a baby.”

Kurt wrinkles his nose and Cooper knows exactly what he’s going to say before he even says it, “That’s fucking mean.”

“Oh god,” Cooper says, shooting off the bench, “Okey dokey Blaine, that’s enough now.”

Both boys are giggling madly now and Cooper wants to die. “I swear I didn’t tell him he could say that,” he tells Burt, who looks mildly horrified, but also like he’s trying to hold back a laugh.

“Eh,” Burt says, obviously struggling to hold back a smile, “He would have started saying it eventually.”

“Jeez, but still,” Cooper says, glancing over at Jane, who is covering her mouth with her hand and laughing quietly behind it, “Blaine,” he says to his brother, “You really aren’t supposed to be saying that word, and you’re especially not supposed to be telling other people to say it.”

“Don’t be fucking mean Coopy,” Blaine says, and Kurt explodes with laughter.

It’s a lost cause, and he knows it. “I’m so sorry,” he tells Burt, “Really, I’m so, so sorry about this.”

“Why are you apologizing kiddo?” Burt says, now laughing as well, “That’s the fastest Kurt’s ever stopped crying. I wanna keep this little one around,” he ruffles Blaine’s curls and deposits Kurt on the floor next to him, “Kurt, you wanna play with Blaine a little bit while I finish up his brother’s car?”

Kurt nods happily and just like that he and Blaine are scurrying outside. Jane hurries to follow them, and Cooper stands up to do so as well.

“Go,” Burt says as he sees him watching the two boys cautiously, “I’ll come get you when you’re car is done.”

Cooper thanks him, apologizes again, and then hurries out after Blaine and his new friend. He finds them already across the street and climbing all over a play structure that Cooper hadn’t even noticed on his way in. Jane is there with them though, so Cooper looks both ways and then jogs over, stopping when he reaches her side.

“Burt’s right,” Jane says, looking over to give him a smile, “Kurt’s never stopped crying that quickly before.”

Cooper shakes his head, “Yeah, and I bet he’s never said ‘fucking’ before either.”

Jane laughs and Cooper laughs as well, heart fluttering in his chest. He looks over at the play structure, where Kurt and Blaine are playing what looks like pirates.

“Your brother is really cute,” she says, her laughs subsiding.

“Yeah, you say that now. You wouldn’t think he was so cute five minutes ago when he was screaming about wanting his mom and how I forgot him at school cause I was five minutes late.”

Jane bites down on her bottom lip, though her smile emerges regardless, “He cried because you were five minutes late?” she asks, “That’s still kind of adorable.”

Cooper snorts, “Yeah, in an annoying, bratty sort of way.”

Jane laughs again, and they both fall into silence, staring out at the two boys on the play structure.

Jane clears her throat and says, “So. Fucking, huh?”

Cooper groans and decides that he officially hates his parents.

**

Jane gives him her number when he and Blaine have to leave, telling him to give her a call at around six thirty since she’ll be done babysitting Kurt by then. He guesses that’s kind of a victory.

Cooper does take Blaine for ice cream. They get two scoops to share. Blaine can’t seem to stop talking about his new best friend Kurt, who is super smart and super funny and super beautiful (Blaine blushes when he says the last one and Cooper files that reaction away for future reference).

Cooper tells Blaine he promises to be late as few times as possible if Blaine promises not to cry every time that he is. Blaine promises, although he still thinks that Cooper is mean for making him think he forgot about him. Cooper knows that Blaine will probably cry just as much the next time he’s late, but he lets Blaine believe that he believes him.

The scratches on his car are completely gone, which is damn good because he’s pretty sure his parents would have killed him had the seen them.

Overall, despite its shitty start, Cooper thinks that the day turned out pretty well.

(That is until they get home and the first thing out of Blaine’s mouth is “Coopy was fucking mean to me today!”)

**Author's Note:**

> [ rebloggable on tumblr ](http://klaineanummel.tumblr.com/post/125200188770/of-temper-tantrums-and-bad-words)  
> 


End file.
